playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just google imaged poop.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
