I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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