Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
