what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
