You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Randomize