yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
