one two three fourrrrnication!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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