so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
