new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
