You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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