he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i barfeds in our rink
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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