margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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