So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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