Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
