oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I need to align my fucking chakras
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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