At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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