hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
