I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
