That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
