I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
