I can't watch pbs sober anymore
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
