when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
