The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
