I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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