I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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