Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
