I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
