put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
