4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
