he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
