i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
