I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
