Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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