I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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