So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
