so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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