Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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