Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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