SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize