is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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