the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
