Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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