Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
