all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
