Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
