I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
