just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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