I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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