Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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