i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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