Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
