Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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