Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
