I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Less talking, more tequila
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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