There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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