Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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