You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
