I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
