I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
