Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize