I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
