Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
