The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
