real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
