I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I queefed so loud it echoed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
