From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize