How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize