I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dignity is for republicans.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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